Why do people discourage others

Hundreds of Psychology Videos. Why do people discourage others? Miscellaneous 2. Why do they put me down Every now and then i get an email from a person who tells me that people are discouraging him and putting him down. These are the real reasons that motivate people to discourage you: 1 They can't do what you want to do: If i believe that i can't succeed then i will assume that other people won't be able to succeed as well unless they are lucky.

Now when i meet an enthusiastic person who claims that he can succeed i will certainly try to infect him with my negative beliefs. If someone always wanted to be rich but never dared to start a private business then he will feel threatened if he found you taking this step. In such a case this person might put you down just to make sure that you won't bypass him and become better than him 3 They are jealous: Believe it or not, a close friend may try to discourage you just because he is jealous of you.

If you are getting more attention than him or if he feels incompetent compared to you then he might put you down just because he feels jealous 4 He is afraid: When i proposed my first book to the owner of a publishing house back in the man refused to publish it claiming that he only publishes books about politics.

Later on when i sold more than 1 million worth of copies see How i did it i realized that the man was just afraid to take the risk because i seemed young and so he chose to put me down 5 They hate you: If a person hates you he wont want to see you succeeding at anything and that's why he will try to discourage you whenever he gets the chance.

Beware of enemies who come disguised as friends see Dealing with people who hate you at work 6 They are not well informed: Many people hate to say "I don't know" when they are asked about something.

When people lack sufficient knowledge about what you are planning to do they might put you down just not to say "I don't know" 7 They can't see the full picture: some people will put you down just because they can't see the full picture you saw. Those people might have good intentions but in the end they will do the same harm that others who bad intentions did How to prevent people from discouraging you There are two things you need to do in order to prevent people from discouraging you.

And our duty is pretty simple, avoiding it. And how? Or just be wiser and realize that it is a drain on energy and smile at what they say and keep doing what you think is right.

Frankly I would stick with the last one. Excellent write up Vinay. Discourage and rejection are totally two faces of the same coin. It may provide you with the space for something bigger that is about to happen! And because they have not been able to achieve their dreams, they cannot conceptualize your dreams coming into fruition. What they do not understand is that they were the ones who stood in the way of their own dreams.

They do not realize that you are different from them and will not stand in the way of your own—unless you listen to them. They have created their own reality. You do not want these discouragers to create yours.

They do not have the vision to do so. Another reason people may discourage your vision is that they are threatened by you. The better you do, the worse they feel about themselves. Their self-worth is based on an external locus of control.

They view their self-worth in relation to everything outside of themselves. That means they compare themselves to you, and if they perceive that you are better than them in any way, their sense of self-worth decreases. They will consciously or unconsciously hold you back in order to protect their own fragile ego.

Their discouragement is percent about them and 0 percent about you. It is not personal. The last thing you want to do is listen to the discourager and hold yourself back from being the best that you can be, when the discourager is reacting in self-protection mode. One of the most common reasons for someone to stomp on your vision is jealousy.

They want what you have, and it kills them to think of your having more. They may be jealous of your job, jealous of your values, jealous of your work ethic, jealous of your appearance, jealous of how happy you seem … jealous of whatever. They may secretly think that you can achieve your dream and therefore try to discourage it.

This may be conscious, but many times discouragers are totally unaware of their own motivations. They may convince themselves that your vision is ridiculous, having no idea that deep down they are intensely jealous of you.

Like I said earlier, discouragement is rarely personal and usually has nothing to do with you. But there are some exceptions.